Overconfidence kills
Wednesday, 20 August 2014 | 11:10 pm | 0 comments
I feel so depressed. I can't focus on anything I do. Had my O level english examinations yesterday and I was overconfident. I had never once did badly or even a slight degree that would be considered bad at all. Had always aced it. HAD. Yet, when I read the passage yesterday, my voice went high, it shook, I struggled to articulate the words well and I had to literally force my voice out as it was stuck at my throat, dangling on the tip of my tongue. I read severe as several and I skipped 2 words due to my haste. I was in a desperate hurry to get it over with and YEAH, ALL OF THOSE LEADS TO VERY VERY BAD MARKS.During discussion, I stumbled and wasn't unable to refine my answers, they were short as though in point form and I was talking so fast that I jumped onto my next point when I was midway in my previous. (keep in mind I was stuttering the whole way). Picture that. Not to mention, my jelly-like hands and legs.
Among all the oral examinations that I ever had in my life, I screwed up the most important one which happens to be the last one in my entire life. I really need that A1 for english as I can't score in chinese, science and maths. English & humanities are my only hope, and I screwed up the oral which was 20% worth of my english grade. The thought is so suicidal, I swear. I understand that it's over and that there's nothing I can do about it, how i wish they could ask my teachers about how well I usually fare in my oral exam practice, I got 10/10 for my prelims! How on earth did I screw this one up? Lesson: OVERCONFIDENCE KILLS.
Paid too much of a heavy price to even learn that.
Without my dogs, I think I would go into depression. Gonna try to convert all this negative vibe into something motivational, use it as a drive to excel better. But it's hard, all I wanna do is to wallow in sorrow in the comfort of my blanket in the gloom of my room (literally). Overdramatic I guess, but true as hell. I need those marks so bad, I couldn't afford to do that badly and I did.
Worst thing is, I'm receiving my chinese o level results tomorrow. Double blow. I needa go into a mental hospital soon. I think I should be able to pass, but with my BAD CHINESE ORAL, and misinterpreted listening compre + compo and a comprehension passage that I all screwed up as well, I don't dare to hope. I really hope I can get like a B, but I think I should count myself lucky to even get a C.
TO ALL GODS IN THE UNIVERSE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, BLESS ME. ESPECIALLY GODDESS ATHENA. HELP HELP HELP!