Raw and asunder
Tuesday 2 August 2016 | 1:13 am | 0 comments
I despise relationships. What on earth could be more painful? NOTHING.
Why is this happening to me. Like legit why. I mean, all relationships have up and downs, yeah sure. But this often?? ): It's killing me. The pain is inexplicable. It feels unbelievably raw and it's tearing you from the inside out. The heart literally hurts and it feels like it's on the verge of bursting. Not forgetting the bawling and the intensely parched eyes that comes after.
I hate relationships whereby either party ask for time alone / a momentarily break from each other. It happens to too many way too often. It ends up with a PERMANENT split because both or one party drifts apart. It takes two hands to clap. Why oh why. Lordie.
It's hard being supportive. I mean, thinking you are is easy. I remember watching a Weylie's video once. She said that it's important to be supportive, and by being supportive, it's as in don't think you know what is right for your partner and make decisions based on what YOU think is best for them. You don't know and you will never know what is best for them, only they know what is best for themselves or what they truly want. Even if you think it isn't a good/suitable decision, just be supportive and let them know that you've got their back. Something along the lines of this but that's the gist of it. It's been etched in my mind ever since, maybe like 2 years now? Yet, somehow I don't seem to be doing it. Terrible girlfriend.
I've changed, like so much ever since I got in a relationship, but I think I changed for the better, attitude and temper-wise. But my grades dropped and my social life is like from a 10 to 5/6 now. Yet, I think i'm changing from what he use to love about me. I mean, if he fell for who I use to be, then changing now would mean I'm drifting further away from who he fell for, and that isn't me anymore, right? I don't know. It's so confusing. Why don't relationships come with manuals. Ugh.
Okay, imagine this scenario. 2 perfect fitting pieces, both pieces change, but the change isn't fitting, so obviously both pieces when pieced together don't form a whole anymore. Does that make sense? This is what I think happens during relationships that don't last?
Love-hate relationship. Wanna strangle him so bad but I all I want are his hugs and kisses.
Hate can only come from something equatable to as strong as it is. Love.