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Short biography

Name - Joey
Horoscope - Gemini
Likes - Travel, Disney,FOOD
Fav colour - Lime green, gold, dusty rose
Fav Singer - The Cab, R5 & Cody Simpson
Fav movie - The Lion King
Fav animal - Wolf

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INSTAGRAM : @aristanae_

A little more about me

Joey, 18, Gemini ♊
XIX.XII.MMXV ♥
3DS friendcode: 4270-1540-1394

:)
The Enchanted Home Zozeebo Safavieh Brianna Wiest Chelsea Fagan Calvin Tanya Burr Jim Chapman Style Me Pretty Ruffled Blog Every Last Detail Colin Cowie Marcella Purnama Sherley Friend Friend Friend Friend Friend Friend

WISHLIST

A horse
New laptop
A macbook pro
USS annual pass
A lime green luggage
Migrate to Australia
Visit Hawaii
Stay in Greece for 2-3 months
Visit Maldives
Visit Kyoto, Japan (see cherry blossoms)
Go overseas before 2012 ends
Get braces
Lime green vox bag
Go bungee jumping & cliff jumping
Pokemon ORAS
New pair of inline skates
A range rover evoque
Attend prom
Get a prom date
Driver license before i'm 21
iPhone 5s
Horseback riding lessons ♥
Archery lessons
Learn taekwondo
A telescope
A tennis racquet
Learn how to play the drums
Learn how to use a sword
Join a sports co-curricular
3DS XL
Try fencing
Go scuba-diving
A surfboard

My books »

"A flower cannot blossom without sunshine"
I feel like i'm surrounded by a lot of negativity in my life. What I really want is good vibes.  Feeling happy, lighthearted, carefree and cheery.

All along, I thought of myself as a dark person. A person who would rather take evil > good, as cliche as that sounds. Always more drawn towards that side in fact. (BUT, I'M AFRAID OF GHOSTS).

Ghosts aside, the dark is somehow magical. It's mysterious, captivating, When you watch shows or read books, they're glorified and it's extremely cool.

But in all seriousness, it feels really heavy and being cheery and light may feel better. (Not when you need the confidence though, being badass it better).


Recently, all I have been hearing from people around be are complaints about their life, what's going on, rumors, gossips, etc. While I do enjoy listening to juicy gossip, there are times whereby I don't want to get involved in it at all and simply lead my life and mine alone instead of getting caught up with someone else's. Moments such as now. Too much on my plate to handle all these.

Oh and I signed my internship contract today! Yayerz so excited!! Kinda wish I have someone to share that excitement with. It's times like this I wish I had a sibling to share my joys and woes with. Dogs are great but they can't converse in a way we understand coherently anyway.

SIDE NOTE: I've been wanting to eat ramen for days!! But my meals somehow always get settled or I have training that day so I can't eat it ): I have NAPFA tomorrow at 4:30pm so I can't have ramen for lunch. SIGH #firstworldproblems I can't emphasise how important birthdays are to me and I do not intend to break that tradition for myself. It's the most important day of the entire year to me and i do not know how to express that for people. I'm sure you've read that every year in my blogposts and i'm always sad and crying when it's nearing my birthday because of how paranoid i am that it will just be another mundane day where everyone just live their life and go on about life as though it's another day. I mean it's fine for those not close to me.

I don't know if it's just because i'm harping onto these expectations that people will do for me what I did for them. Organise parties, ordering a cake, planning, devising the best birthday plan I can that is appropriate for the age, inviting friends. I want someone to do that for me. No one i know this lifetime knows the importance of birthdays or feel the same way I do about birthdays. So of course no one is gonna do this kind of stuff for me. I have to do it myself. Always.

Begging and crying to family members just to go somewhere I want them to go somewhere on my birthday with me. Don't get me wrong, they love me and im not neglected or whatever. I just want that little extra on my birthday.

Is the last teen birthday important? To many it isn't but it is SO important to me i don't know how to get my point across to people and make them understand. I would kill someone just to have a perfect birthday and have 0 regrets. Maybe i'm being selfish with all this but I desperately want things to go well. Have a day of joy and laughter.

Every year on my birthday, when i'm doing stuff i'll start thinking stuff like "Damn, im spending my birthday like this", "sigh is this really how im spending my birthday", "10 june and i'm doing this". It really sucks. I can't remember the best last birthday I've had. Not the last, not the year before and definitely not the year before that either.

You only get to live that age once and it's gone. Why don't people understand that. Do you think you'll definitely have another year to do that. What if it's your last? People think 'nah that wont happen, there are years to come, definitely not the last' but SERIOUSLY you never know. Okay guysss, so, i'm back from Gold Coast! Back in Singapore for about 6 days already now. Been sick since the trip, sore throat, fever, cough, flu. You name it.

Overall, I think the trip was alright. But I really do agree with the saying that in order to have good trips, you need good company. The company was meh.

My roommate was a dread. Bossing me around and having the damn audacity to turn the AC down to 13degrees when I was running a fever. Wow girl, you've got balls. Worst thing was she was wearing long pants and a damn sweater, complaining she was feeling hot. Girl, whatchu wearing.

Bought tons of stuff there though, went to their Nike factory outlet, spent like 200AUD there, hella lot at their grocery store (Woolsworth & Coles). The chia seed there is so cheap!! It's unbelievable! 500g for 8AUD, here in Singapore, it's SGD35 for that. And as of now, the exchange rate is 1 to 1.

I did get some good memories out of that trip though, seeing kookaburras for the first time ever (LIKE FINALLY), getting to feed dolphins, visit dreamworld, shopping my ass off, and that's about it.

Well I was on surfers paradise and I was super happy to be there, seeing the street I've always wanted to venture, explore that lil coastal town. (MAYBE see Cody Simpson although I know he is in LA).
One thing I don't like about Australia is just how early their store closes.

I was at dreamworld the other day, trying to experience every ride possible (or at least the crazy ones) before I ate my first meal to prevent any potential accidents yknow. So by the time I completed all the rides, it was 3pm and literally, all the F&B stores were already closed. So i had to stave all the way back to the hotel and wait for dinner. (torture!!)

Not to mention, I was bored to tears! Retail outlets around my hotel close at 9pm, so their shutters are down at around 8:30-8:45pm ish. Man, what was I gonna do. If you've ever been to Singapore or live here you know that stores do NOT close that early. So yeah, that was a bummer.

I seriously did love their beach though. The waves were so majestic it was unbelievable how puny the waves are here.

So i'm sooo in love with Pic's smooth peanut butter and I tried to find if it's sold anywhere in Singapore. FOUND IT. HERE, but with my luck, it's sold out :)))

Things to buy if you're in Australia
- Beach floaties!! (optional)
- Chia seed
- Pic's / Mayver's peanut butter
- Emu oil cream

^STOCK UP ON THOSE. MUST Hey guys!! Quick update: I'm FINALLY gonna go Gold Coast! A place of paradise. Ahh..how long has it been since I dreamed of setting foot on that beautiful little place. Had my eyes set particularly on the stretch of road known as The Esplanade at Surfer's Paradise, and that's where my hotel is gonna be! (or nearby at least).

So excited! However, it is afterall a school trip and i'm gonna have to stick with them not getting a chance to explore on my own. ): Hope it'll still be fun though.

Really want to make the most out of the trip but after looking through the itinerary, seems like there's only 2 opportunities for us to shop. Not sure if i'd like to spend my time shopping there or exploring most out of the place. I'm not sure. I'm gonna be so tied for time there!!

2 more days till I get to go go go! So, it's the lunar new year recently. Didn't really have much of the festive vibes this year though I really wanted to. It feels good to be caught up in any sorta seasonal festive feeling isn't it?

I was working the other day and saw this. Man, i felt so choked up. Chinese have a beautiful culture too. Rich history, etc. I mean, i've always known this, that ancient china exists with the various dynasties and all. But i've never really considered it a beautiful and wow culture till I saw this 2 days back.

Why do I envy other nationalities for the culture they have, Goryeo, ancient Greece, medieval times for other countries, etc, etc. Literally, we do not see what we have/what we are.

It might seem weird, but I tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill, c'mon, I was at work. CONTROL.

Was thinking back what my ancestors had got to experience back in China, like definitely they came from there since my maternal great grandmother's parents were from China. What kind of lunar new year they got to experience, backgrounds, sights, food and festive activities they got to participate in. The culture and tradition is way richer back then but now we get to modernalise, incorporating technology into it and all. Don't know which is better.

But at that moment, I felt hella proud to be chinese. I know it isn't really right for me to blog this but i need somewhere to rant. Maybe i'll delete it in the future. Sigh.

So had my reunion dinner today, was really really looking forward to it. But, so MANY things went wrong!!! Unbelievable.

- Squeezy place
- Mom was being a b*tch
- Cousin 1 was rude af
- Cousin 2 was noisy as heck

Jesus christ.

Why can't things so exactly how I plan for them to be? I was so embarrassed by my mom. She was barking orders at everyone over dinner, like no one could eat in peace. She did it so loudly and it a bitchy tone it annoyed the heck outta me. Before, during and after dinner. THE WHOLE WAY. Ohmysweetgoodness. Why. I don't think i've ever felt this embarrassed by her before, worst of all, it was in front of my own family.

What i felt worst about is that when my cousin was rude to Perry just now, I didn't defend him. Eating me up like crazy. Zzz. Wish i did something. STUPIDITY.

Why was today so terrible. It's the time of the year again, christmas! How time flies.

Gonna have christmas bbq with my family tonight. Kinda looking forward to it but don't really have high expectations somehow, not sure why.

Have been looking forward to Christmas since like October, and I was REALLY into the christmas mood last month. But now, when it's actually christmas day itself, I don't feel christmas-y at all. :/


So I had my macroeconomics msa paper yesterday. Let's just say...it didn't go so well. I completed the paper about 18mins earlier and went to check for wrong answers. I re-read every question but one. So well, that's 4 marks gone. Also a mcq question that i studied for and even wrote down on my notes, totally didn't ring a bell so i guessed a random answer and it was wrong. Another 1 mark down. Finally, the last question, I knew how to solve it but careless mistake. Sigh. That's 9 marks in total gone out of a 30 mark paper.

So much for pulling up my GPA. I'll be lucky to even get a B+ in this scenario. I wanted a A and was so confident for an A.

Okay. No self-pitying. What's done is done. (thats what i keep telling myself but it's not working).

I mean, if i can pull my marketing up from a B during MSA to an A grade overall. I can do the same for this too right?? But my daily grades for marketing were all A. For this, I'm getting Bs every week. Ugh. Please give me a B+ for MSA please please please.

Lost 4 marks in microecons MSA and panicked so bad. Look at me now, lost 9.

I'm mad because it's not that i don't know how to do the questions. I DO. It's just that I was simply careless.

My GPA is current at 3.47 now after a dramatic drop from 3.8 and I have to pull it up. Why on earth did i get so complacent and slack off during yr1sem 2. If not i can have a gradual decrease and graduate with a 3.6 at ease instead of worrying my ass off about not getting As.

I think sub-consciously I was too confident for my paper. I thought I was doing my best but i'm really not.

Damn, i'm so not gonna get any peace till I know my results and even then i'll beat myself up because I would have known I could have scored higher.

Maybe it's because I was mean and not humble enough. Regardless whether I meant it or not.

Be humble. HUMILITY.

When will I ever learn..... Wondering if I'm biting more than what I can chew. So many commitments, or probably I just have bad time management. I hardly find myself at home anymore. I'm either at venue lessons, school or at work. Then again, if I'm home, i'm simply watching american tv shows or gaming. Darling doggies, i'm so sorry i'm not spending enough time with you ):

There's work, diploma plus, normal school lessons, taekwondo training, etc.

Then again, "You're a student. These are your responsibilities,  you have to learn how to manage your time well, there's no running from them. Be all-rounded." What I tell myself every morning everytime i'm tempted to skip school. Like, these are what you signed up for, commit and dedicate yourself to them.

I literally miss reading. Been trying to find time for books, but NONE.

Wonder if I should start work immediately after graduation or attend university. I'm not sure. I want to take a 1 year break or at least half a year break to do what I want. But it's such a waste of time. People are working/studying earning money or something while I just laze around at home with at most a part-time job.

Thinking of pursuing some part-time diploma such as animal handling or something like that offered at NP. Though I'm studying events management now, I think i'll always try to find a way into the animal-related industry. (welfare/conversation/etc, of course). Not like a slaughterhouse ohgod no.

Shoutout to those who help animals!! <3 Thank you. Often see posts on facebook about how so and so adopted, saved, protected those lil' furbabies. Thank you so much. It's sickening how some people can hurt them. No one gets to choose who lives and who dies, every single life is sacred. Be it a tree or an ant. A life is a life. Doesn't mean that it is a small creature, it's less meaningful than us. Note to self:

1) Do not apologise for what you think is right
2) Not everyone has to like you
3) Nobody can ever make you feel inferior
4) You do not have to justify your actions to anyone
5) People are entitled to their own beliefs/ideas
6) Always be supportive, even if you think you know what is best for them
7) Be a gracious loser and humble winner
8) Don't take things too literal
9) Dress confident, feel confident, be confident I want to get into the festive christmas mood this year but goodness! I don't think i'll be able to. Firstly, i'm unable to decorate my house christmas-y because no one here celebrates xmas. (in my family i mean). My country itself doesn't make a big deal about christmas except for hanging up decorative lights around town area and having christmas sale for F&B outlets and retail stores. So yeah. I have nowhere to go to absorb the vibe and get into the holiday atmosphere. I know it's like 2 more months away but still.

I feel the exact same way for halloween. There are no halloween events, no halloween parties, nothing. Besides USS horror nights, there's not much.

How tragic.

It's really times like this I wish i'm born in a different country. I would get to go summer camps, experience 4 seasons, go for school formal dances, go for hikes, surf, do stuff I can't do here. Sigh. Make the best out of it.

Been watching the gathered nest on youtube lately. They make me wanna adopt a child next time. Maybe. We'll see. Cost of living is so damn high here. Ugh, I can't even feed myself. It's been exactly a month since I last blogged. Wow, how time flies. 1 more week and school is reopening. How dreadful. Hope this year's sem 2 will go by as fast as last year's. Thinking about it, I rather enjoyed last sem's class. It went by really quickly.

I really have to put in more effort this semester. Gpa went down by 0.4 last year and this sem, it went up by 0.07. See that big difference? Need to pull it up by 0.13. That's all I ask for.

To be truthfully honest, people in school are scary. They act like everything is perfectly fine to your face and like you're friends. But wow, once your back is turned, RIP.

Then again, sometimes I feel as though i deserve things because i say awful or stupid things that SOOO deserved to be judged. :/ Meh, it's okay. 1.5 years to go and im out!!

Anyway, at work, i once saw a japanese with this geisha logo at the back of her windbreaker and it was so gorgeous. It was black and gold themed. The geisha had a bun and was holding a fan, she had golden eyes too. Simply GORGEOUS. So I tried to re-create it but obviously it wasn't as good and the eyes is FAR from the original one I saw. Basically combined everything i found on google. 0 credits taken.

"Relationships don't have to feel exciting all the time, they should make you feel safe and secure."

Yet another quote that I remember from don't know where. Arguments are inevitable, yet why do they hurt me so? Of course. There would be something horribly wrong if I were not to get affected by it. Sigh.

Ah well, anyway, went for teppanyaki today (yesterday bc after midnight) and celebration Zaw's and Hakim's birthday. (super belated). I'm so sorry dear friends, heh.

Hmm, craving for famous amos cookies badly. Ugh ): Maybe get it tomorrow along with 12 cupcakes as apology for hurting my dearest love, i'm so sorry fluff <3

Just started watching a new k-drama, Cinderella and four knights. Read from a review that it's similar to boys over flowers and that it's a guaranteed favourite for any BOFS fans. So yeah, gave it a try.

Currently addicted to Sabrina Carpenter's <On Purpose>. Sigh, 16 more days till Perry turns 20! Not sure how my planning is going ugh. Really need to work more. Spent so much this month. Just concession alone takes up $51 monthly already.


Okay so many things in pokemon go have NOT went my way so far and i need to get it out of my system. Too much to remember though, so i'll just mention those that happened in the past hour.

So pokemon go just came out in Singapore like what, 4 days ago now? Level 20 so far ohyeahhh. So, my latest update, a 481CP bulbasaur and 256cp hitmonlee ran away from me. I caught a 418cp pikachu and a 524cp eevee. Intended to evolve that eevee to a vaporeon because it has the highest cp among the 3 eeveelutions available in game. Okay, so the thing is that, i clearly knew rainer, pyro and sparky name thingy only works once, and i've used up all 3 already on my previous strongest 3 eevees, so my 524cp eevee who could have spectacularly outshine my 1400+cp vaporeon became a 1300+cp flareon. .___. Please, share my despair and heartache.

It's okay :)))) It's totaly okay. Waiting for pokemon sun & moon to be released in Nov'16 anyway. Sigh, long way to go. 3 more months. Can't wait for the alolan vulpix and ninetales, absoutely gorgeous. The oricorio is super cute too, definitely going for the sensu style. Ghost pokemons ftw!
Why is this happening to me. Like legit why. I mean, all relationships have up and downs, yeah sure. But this often?? ): It's killing me. The pain is inexplicable. It feels unbelievably raw and it's tearing you from the inside out. The heart literally hurts and it feels like it's on the verge of bursting. Not forgetting the bawling and the intensely parched eyes that comes after.

I hate relationships whereby either party ask for time alone / a momentarily break from each other. It happens to too many way too often. It ends up with a PERMANENT split because both or one party drifts apart. It takes two hands to clap. Why oh why. Lordie.

It's hard being supportive. I mean, thinking you are is easy. I remember watching a Weylie's video once. She said that it's important to be supportive, and by being supportive, it's as in don't think you know what is right for your partner and make decisions based on what YOU think is best for them. You don't know and you will never know what is best for them, only they know what is best for themselves or what they truly want. Even if you think it isn't a good/suitable decision, just be supportive and let them know that you've got their back. Something along the lines of this but that's the gist of it. It's been etched in my mind ever since, maybe like 2 years now? Yet, somehow I don't seem to be doing it. Terrible girlfriend.

I've changed, like so much ever since I got in a relationship, but I think I changed for the better, attitude and temper-wise. But my grades dropped and my social life is like from a 10 to 5/6 now. Yet, I think i'm changing from what he use to love about me. I mean, if he fell for who I use to be, then changing now would mean I'm drifting further away from who he fell for, and that isn't me anymore, right? I don't know. It's so confusing. Why don't relationships come with manuals. Ugh.

Okay, imagine this scenario. 2 perfect fitting pieces, both pieces change, but the change isn't fitting, so obviously both pieces when pieced together don't form a whole anymore. Does that make sense? This is what I think happens during relationships that don't last?

Love-hate relationship. Wanna strangle him so bad but I all I want are his hugs and kisses.

Hate can only come from something equatable to as strong as it is. Love. 

Apparently my class had the highest sales!! GO LTAM! I really wish I can get closer and bond with my class. Hard to do so though. Really unrelatable towards their likes, conversation topics and sense of humour. Think i'll just stick to my taekwondo buddies instead. At least I can be who I really am there, even though it's a not so good one. heh.

So it is my grandma's birthday today, well, not exactly today since it's past midnight already, but (30/07) basically. Didn't get to celebrate it with and for her :( Sorry mahmah, I love you though. Cutest grandma in the world! She deserves an award. She was always there throughout my entire childhood.

I think my aunt brought her out to eat bbq or something, saw it on facebook. Ugh, my grammar!!! Getting bad to worst. So much for reading, borrowed 2 library books like a month ago, yet to even read a page.

Okay, i'm exhausted. I need sleep. I really want to continue this post but i'm literally drained and tired. Cyaz.



School is such a superficial place. People acting like someone they are not simply to fit in and get friends. Is it worth it though? Maybe. It's so tiring to keep it up though. Where do people actually find the effort?

Tell me people don't engage in pretentious and superficial talks. Tell me i'm wrong.

Also, I don't understand how people find the time to look fabulous as hell in school. Nice clothes, nice make-up. Looking super rad. I'd give them that. Like how? I look sloppy af in school. School starts at 8:30am or 9:15am, my alarm is at either 7/7:30am, + all the snoozes I add, goodness. Impossible to not rush out. People in school looking like a 10/10, here i am a 0/10.

I mean, if you think about it, people in the same diploma as you will most likely be in the same field as you're gonna be in and connections are important. But, you can still build more next time right?

Main point is, people in school are so fake. You can clearly see the effort they're putting in to be someone they are not simply to get in the good books of others. I don't get how and why. How on earth do you keep the facade up??

I'm not complaining, I was pretentious af in secondary school. Gossiping, backstabbing people and goodness was I double-faced. Blame it on the horoscope if you must, Gemini.

Hi Perry,

This is my first time dedicating a blog post to someone. Be honoured.

Happy 7th monthsary fluff! I love you so much.

We've been through a lot, many more to come still, for sure. We've changed and grown individually but as a couple as well. I've read past messages alot, it's quite funny, can tell the difference by how we talk then and now. We are definitely more familiar and comfortable with each other now. ♥

Memories are so dear. Many times, when we argue I remember all our bad times, overlooking the good. But thinking back, we have tons of great ones. HAHA, mygoodness, our early-relationship days, dinner date at Nandos', SEA Aquarium, etc. It was great, god, thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. Like, we were so 'young', that kinda feeling. I wanted to cling onto your arm so bad but I was shy! Also was worried how you'd view me hahaha :x

This is the first time i've ever felt so comfortable and like myself in a relationship where it wasn't awkward. We've came far in just 7 months haven't we? Let's make more memories okay?

You're one of the best things that has ever happened in my life and i'm immensely grateful for your existence.

I know i'm not the best and that there are many other girls out there, so thank you, thank you for choosing me and staying by my side despite my flaws (which there are many). Who else in the world can handle my bitchiness/craziness/weird temper/etc???

You have no idea how lucky I feel to have you as mine. How could anyone be as nice as you are? You care for others, you are considerate and sensitive. That was what caught my eye mainly.

I know you have sacrificed greatly for me. No words can string up to form a sentence worthy describing how thankful I am. I just have no idea how to express it and it's never enough. It kills me to know how upset you are because of it and i'll rather take the hurt than have you go through it.

Please bear with me, I know at times I say things rashly and do things I don't mean. My temper too is terrible. I'm slowly changing to be better for you.

I wish you can feel how blissful I feel. Having someone you love loving you as much and more. I love you and i swear i'll never leave. Looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you, my future husband.

These are things i'll promise you:
- Never mention break-up
- Never airplane mode you
- Never bring up old arguments

I love you.  Aren't teachers supposed to be impartial? Like anyone at all in the teaching industry.

How annoying, I feel as though my EOM module facilitator is prejudiced against me.

But of course, she might not be. Benefit of doubt given. However it definitely seems that way. Initially she seemed like a cool teacher, but now NO. It's like, whenever I ask/bring something up, she shoots me down. Yet I have to take it in because she is grading me.

Furthermore, my MSA presentation is in exactly 2 weeks and she will be grading me for it. Wonder what kind of questions she's gonna be shooting me then. Particularly with the presence of another facilitator around.

Oh god, I particularly hate facilitators who randomly give breaks at different timings than how it would actually be planned. THAT WHAT SHE DID. Okay, for 9:15am lessons, breaks are supposed to be at 10:15am-11am. She gave the break at 10:15 and told us to report back at 10:45am. Of course, i'm so NOT obligated to. Previous week she gave us the break at 9:40am-10:30am or something can't really remember but it was absurdly early. So i politely asked her if she could extend the break till 10:50am. She gave me the "r u stupid" look and told me to buy the food back up to class if I wanted to eat it. Like, helloooo??? I can so come back anytime I want and I don't even have to tell you, not like you can do anything except to downgrade me. What a bitch. Okay, next.

I was presenting the slides for my group, the slides weren't even done by me, but I presented them anyway as it was my turn. She totally shot it down and said that it was redundant. Okay, I shouldn't take it personally at all, like, she's supposed to give her inputs anyway and it wasn't even my slide, but still I feel so personally attacked and insulted. Ugh.

I know i'm gonna regret sleeping this late. So many things running through my mind. One of the worst things to do at night. Thinking.
Okay omg, i want to quit my retail job so bad. I'm so sick of it!!! :( I use to love it but i guess overtime my interest for it just faded. It's so mundane! You should never dread going to work am i right? I haven't worked in a month due to exams, competitions, studies and another commitments.

Why do I do this to myself? I can just be like a normal student like all my other friends. Not working. Purely focusing on their social life, studies and hobbies/interests.

I know why. Because i'm a huge and impulsive spender. Also, this job doesn't pay that bad either. Benefits are great as well.

I went for a interview for a job in the tourism industry, but retail as well. Not sure if i want to take it up. It's further away, the hourly wage is lower, benefits compared to my current job is pathetic. Seems really unappealing doesn't it? The only good thing about it is that I like that place. However, I'm afraid that because of the job, eventually I wouldn't like visiting that place anymore. Sigh. Dilemma. Not sure if I can commit either because aside from my diploma, I take an extra class that is held twice a week during evening time, so i'm unable to take night/closing shift. Ugh! I mean, pay and benefits isn't everything am I right? So long as I like the job and the people there. The people there seem nice. I like the place too. But it's far. I'm not sure I can commit to constantly travelling there, it's 40mins via bus from where I live. Also, the pay is lower. I feel like i'll think i'm being shortchanged and that it's not worth my time working there, then eventually, i'll come to hate the job as well.

Even so, I don't think I want to work in the retail anymore, it's so not my thing. I want to try other stuff but in the same place for the tourism sector. Afraid that if I reject their offer for the retail job, they wouldn't accept me in at all. But, if I work there, there is a possibility that I can get there for my internship right? I mean, go there, get connections and find my way in. Since my diploma is tourism related. Ah, what to do. I already went for the interview. I shouldn't had sent my application in at all.

I feel like I should just stay in my current job and just hang it out till my internship in 10 months time or like when year 3 starts. I really do not know what to do. I feel so conflicted. I know the job in the tourism industry is totally not something I can tolerate for long. Why do I feel so tempted to take it up?? I'm clearly aware that i'll simply regret it.

Even getting the absurd idea that I should take up both jobs, get the best of both worlds. In the back of my head, I OBVIOUSLY KNOW that I will ABSOLUTELY NOT be able to handle it. Yet, I want to try. Lord save me please. What is wrong with me. Greedy. Just worried that it'll be an opportunity wasted.

Having time management issues seriously. I want to stay at home, watch my dramas, catch up on my sleep, study when I want to, play with my dogs, go on dates with my boyfriend or just spend time with him. BUT, I want money too ;_;

Please be nice to retail people. Particularly those in apparel-line & during holiday seasons. Can someone please tell me where has my passion for reading and writing gone to? I loved those. But yeah, note the past tense. How long has it been since my first post where I mentioned that i have/want to start reading again.

Someone make me ascetic even if you have to please.

I use to write good essays, like even I'm proud of myself. Now,  I can't even attain half of that standard to write my proposal. I guess it was because I wrote it for 10 years for primary + secondary school. But now that I'm in poly, I haven't written any essays/reports/proposals in 2 years and am struggling with dear life just to write one. Even so, i'm barely scraping it through. Legit, it's totally pure basic english of probably a primary school kid's calibre. Descriptive essays were my speciality. WHERE DID THAT GO.

Wonder if it's because I read a lot of teen fiction books where they used superb vivid and immaculate vocabs and adjective to describe it all. So surreal, books are where you can live a thousand lifetimes.
Sigh, i'm in total astonishment of myself I can't even grasp my mind about how far I've plummeted.

Maybe I should just carry a dictionary or thesaurus around with me at all times and just read it whenever I'm free. But, it's like, I understand the words and the meanings, just that, when i'm writing, that word wouldn't even occur in my brain to be written, if you get what I mean. So much for being a journalist next time. Sorry teenage dream.


Countries to visit:
-Australia
-Greece
-Croatia
-Fiji
-Maldives
-Korea
-Japan
-Norway
-Denmark
-Switzerland
-Germany
-England
-America
-Spain
-Mexico
-Italy


Particular places to visit:
-Nuremberg, Germany
-Dubai, United Arab Emirates
-The palace of the lost city, South Africa
-Kyoto,  Japan
-Wyoming, USA
-Hawaii, USA
-Venice
-Uluru, Australia
-Mediterranean countries/islands
-Scandinavian countries

AREAS
-Safari game resorts/lodges
-Ski lodges
-National parks camping
-See northern lights
-Stargazing



It's times like this I really wish I lived overseas.

Christmas markets in places such as Germany, Switzerland, England. Particularly Europe.

Halloween parties and music festivals that America.

Summer parties and roadtrips that I will never get to enjoy.

Even visiting national parks isn't something I can do here.




Remember I complained alot in the previous post about my grading? HAHA, miraculously, I managed to double to blue belt. Like, wow, literally, I did not see that coming. All the tears I shed. GOD DOES EXIST. Prayed so hard!!! How many sleepless nights did I go through.

I really wanna start reading again. I miss living fictional lives over and over again.

Just passed my 18th birthday 3 days ago. Spent it with my darling niggays!!!! Thanks a lot guys, for agreeing to come to night safari and for the tickets. + the cake! Yumz.

So, went to the zoo with Perry, then met up with the niggays at Night Safari for dinner at bongo burgers. Eugene got pulled up to be part of the thumbakar performance. IT WAS HILARIOUS.

One thing I really have to comment is the kfc at Singapore zoo kidzworld though. Overpriced, soggy chicken, and it was really small. Meh, disappointment. Getting worse every year.

So i got 3 cakes for my birthday this year! A strawberry ice cream cake, a chocolate fudge cake and a nutella cake! Yummz :p

Presents this year: Nerf gun, the flash shirt, razer headphones, tiger plushie. <3

I hate exams :( Spoil the june mood. Sleep stressfully everyday knowing there are things to do. Not even exactly sure how to prepare for exams as well because mainly calculations.

Want to try eating four fingers crispy chicken though. Have been wanting to try it for a while now ever since I chanced upon it at Somerset or is it Orchard Central? Either way, it's connected. I think it's Orchard Central though. Looked at the reviews and it seems alright. But friends said that it's small, salty and that the flavour mainly comes from the skin. Don't really like eating chicken skin. For those who know me, i'm a really picky eater. Well well, HINT HINT FRIENDSSSSSS.

So many places I want to go to eatttttt:
- The lab
- Four fingers crispy chicken
- DC Cafe
- Pokemon Cafe
- Geylang Baazar Never thought I'd actually feel academically stress until like, the usual "OMG, deadline coming up" kinda thing is going on.

Meh, 2 reports to do for MSA, one worth 1k words, and the other 2k.

I'm a slacker. I know, and I like being one.

I feel so tired everyday, dear god.

Okay, last month I had my green belt grading. Fked it up, turned the wrong side for my basic kick. Sigh, was an emotional wreck for like 3-4 days, still affected by it, but not so much. Like, I know it's my fault, expecting a double is like 99.9% impossible and I have no choice but to accept it right? But still clinging onto that 0.1% of hope. Not like I can go up to the examiner and beg/bribe/threaten him.

Being in the same class as someone you terribly dislike it a terrible thing. I thought that I'll get over this unspoken feud with her but nope. Got, I don't know why. Am I intimidated by her? At times I guess. But there are also times I just look down on her with disdain and scorn. Can't help it, she basically exudes the air of "low-classiness".

I wonder why I can't be the person I really am in class. I'm like a totally different person in different environments and with different people. In taekwondo, i'm outspoken as hell. In class, i'm grouchy and quiet. As for in work..... it depends.

Been having pain on my right eyelid for 2 days now, am so afraid that i'm gonna develop a sty. Omg, I never want that. It looks hideous. Just no.

How long in advance do I have to apply for an internship, I have no idea. Afraid I'm like missing out.

I literally just woke up from a 3 hour nap 2 hours ago, and i'm tired again. Yesterday, I slept for 11hours. 8:30pm-7:30pm. Mmhmm, can you believe that.


You'll never really love anyone the same way as you did with another.

Your feelings for the person in your previous relationship can never feel the same as the feelings you have towards your current beau.

It's impossible.

But it doesn't even matter. Love, is love. Everyone is different. If how you felt towards someone could be felt with another, there isn't such thing as "a new relationship = refreshing start" anymore. You know how it will all play out. Have been wanting to do a blog post for a few days now. Just a blank post sitting in my draft box for days because I don't really know what to blog about.

So, CNY day 1 and 2 just passed and yay, managed to convince myself to go to Perry's grandmother's house for visiting. At least it's getting easier overtime seeing his mom and his sister. God, the initial awkwardness. Please let me get over it soon.

Nothing worst than awkwardness.

Supposed to be doing my pre-class work now but ugh. Supposed to be changing my quilt covers as well because my dogs peed on the floor and the corner of the quilt got it apparently. Ugh. My life.

Such a cold cruel world.

School in 7 hours. Kill me :( At least it's finally week 13. God bless my life. I really want to skip next Tuesday but I already used up my non-loa days. FML. RP Y U DO DIS. //inserts memes//

I want to buy a polaroid printer to print out my photos but it's so expensive :( Totally not worth too, plus needa buy the polaroid films. Bleh.

Had some quotes in my notes that were like about status differentiation that I got from a kdrama, Darling dearest thought it was about him and got all insecure. Dammit dude, I love you <3 Don't think so lowly of yourself. Will stick with you even if you're like poor af.

(BEING THOSE GIRLS AGAIN. OK, STOPPING.)

CNY this year wasn't so awkward and boring. Worked closing shift on day 1, double pay, oyeahhhh. Went visiting to grandma's side of the family earlier that day, so yeah. Wore a blue cheongsam which was actually my mom's. No one knows anyway.

Then yeah, spent today (yesterday bc midnight alr) at Perry's grandma house. Watched harry potter with him and then went to bishan park and bought mac.

Korean OSTs are so nice <3


I seriously cannot deal with stress. There's so many things i have to deal with right now, I don't know how to cope other than breakdown, ugh seriously.

Having taekwondo grading later, woohoo, hope I get double, but then again, my side kick sucks :( !! Pray for the best. Dobok pants are hard to kick high with too.

Omg, i want to eat bingsu so badly, but they are all at places that are either far away, time consuming to get to or either places i don't know how to go.

There is one place I particularly want to try, omg, all the food blogs and pictures, how enticing. Navigate with the Xs below


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